The writings of Cheryl McKay will leave you with a glowing beam of inspiration. Cheryl McKay is the screenwriter for the movie “The Ultimate Gift” and co-author of “Never the Bride”, a fictional novel loosely based on her experiences as a single Christian who waited a long time for her love story. Cheryl McKay returns once again with the release of, “Finally the Bride: Finding Hope While Waiting”. This is a non-fiction book that will shine a reflection from the mirror of this astonishing author's very personal perspective from her diary of being single with a biblical outlook about God.
DJ Worship More:
Cheryl, I would like to thank you for your time and this opportunity to interview you. While reading your book a couple of smirks formed on my face, as I giggled to myself, for example when reading “The list” and seeing the lovey dovey couple, I found it humorous to compare your list with the one that I created when I was around the same age. I never had a foot complex, but now that I’m older that should have been on my list.
DJ Worship More Question:
Before writing this non-fiction book, "Finally the Bride: Finding Hope While Waiting", you released a fictional novel, Never the Bride. You say that you were the inspiration for the main character, Jessie, in the novel. How does she reflect you personally? And why did you feel moved to write a story about singleness?
Answer Cheryl McKay:
First off, that’s hilarious that you had similar lists! I’ve been hearing that a lot from readers so far, about how some of my journal entries or those various lists throughout the book are very relatable to anyone who feels they’ve been waiting too long to find love.
Jessie is fictionalized, humorous version of myself. I turned my life and its angst into a comedy. God helped me make fun of myself, my pain and my impatience with being in my 30’s, still single and waiting and trusting God to show up and write my love story. (God and I had very different ideas about writing deadlines.) I was able to write from a place of understanding of the frustration of the long wait, for any readers out there who are also waiting to find true love. The conversations that Jessie has with God are based on conversations I had with God. Well, especially our fights. But I should clarify… God doesn’t show up cute in my living room like He does in Never the Bride. That book started as a screenplay I wrote, then Rene Gutteridge worked on the novelization. She also novelized my film, The Ultimate Gift. (And we are now working on a third novelization, for B&H Publishing, based on my script Greetings From the Flipside.)
DJ Worship More Question:
Please tell us about your new book, Finally the Bride. What inspired you to write it?
Answer Cheryl McKay:
During the novelization process of my script to book with Rene, I started to feel God prompting me to write a non-fiction version of my story, sharing about all my years of being single and waiting on Him to do something about the lack of love in my life. He’d asked me to surrender my pen to Him (just like I wrote into Jessie’s story). And the years that followed of waiting on Him included a lot of trials, lessons, and preparation that I felt God wanted me to share in Finally the Bride. I also wanted to be more forthcoming with a similar message the novel has about how God cares about our love lives. I felt it was especially important I was to write it while I was still single. I needed to write it from a place of pain, not “after the fact” when I had moved on, gotten married, and my wait was no longer present (a wait that admittedly was driving me a bit crazy at times). So, I wrote it concurrently, except the final few chapters. Little did I know how much my real life story would match what God does in Never the Bride!
DJ Worship More Question:
In your book, you have a chapter about how choosing to love God first and foremost can be like enlisting in “Marriage Boot Camp” as preparation for marriage. Explain that.
Answer Cheryl McKay:
I go into all the ways falling in love with God is like enlisting in Marriage Boot Camp. All the ways we end up loving God are very similar to the ways we can and should eventually love a husband. If someone is still single, it’s great preparation, if we let it be, especially God’s desire to be loved unconditionally no matter what. (Even when He takes forever to bring love into our lives.) He wants to be known, seen, treasured, adored, pursued, praised, and listened to. He wants us to prioritize Him, and spend time with Him. Sounds a lot like us, doesn’t it? He doesn’t only want this from single people. He wants to be first in our lives, whether we have a spouse or not. I also have a chapter on all the ways God is like a true husband to us, even surpassing what an earthly husband can possibly do or be for us.
DJ Worship More Question:
How did you come to know God had marriage in mind for you, even when it seemed like nothing was happening? How did you receive this promise?
Well, first He let me know during a prayer time that one day I would get married (and this was through what’s best described as that “still small voice” He talks about in His Word). I sensed Him say He knew best what I needed, no matter how long it would take. That was in 1994. (Not exactly a whirlwind romance, right?) I certainly did a little dating throughout the years. I even thought I was going to get married in 2003. But God showed up again with another message for me: in advance, He warned me that relationship was about to end. (First through eight prophetic dream warnings, then through a prophetic friend who was praying over me, confirming the dream message when she didn’t even know I’d had the dreams.) I had no idea that break up was coming and would have been so blindsided had I not be warned in advance. But in that same prayer session, with the same prayer warrior, God also reminded me of that 1994 promise to take care of this area of life for me, if I would just wait on Him. I never dated again after that point, until I went on the first date with my husband. It was the hardest 7 years of waiting you could imagine! But I can say it was definitely worth it!
DJ Worship More Question:
You say that the decision to love someone is a decision that’s important enough for God to get involved in. God is a character in the book, Never the Bride, and played a big role in your own personal love story, too. How involved do you believe God wants to be? (And is this for everyone?)
I have a journal entry (again, recording that “still small voice” of direction) from back in 2004 when I felt like God asked me to trust Him, to give up my pen to Him so He could write my love story. He didn’t tell me how SLOW of writer He was going to be. But I’d had enough of trying to do it on my own, going through a lot of pain over disappointments. But God took custody of that pen very seriously. And whenever I was trying to grab back control, God would remind me He wasn’t taking nominations and suggestions from me. I really believe sometimes we don’t know what we ask for. We may think we want something (like a particular person or in a particular time frame) but God knows so much greater what we truly need. I knew this part of life was way too important to trust to myself alone. With the divorce rates being so high even among believers, I wanted God’s help. I always felt that I’d rather be alone than with the wrong person. I took the metaphor God used with me back then (His request that I surrender that pen) and turned it into a story for the character in Never the Bride.
You say the story you released with Never the Bride had parallels to your real life after you released the book. How so? What mistakes did you make that matched your fictional character’s mistakes? How did your love story come to be? And what was God’s role in writing it?
I had plenty of “suspects,” lots of love interests, but none of them were God’s choice. In fact, I was so hung up on someone else (a “best friend”) when my husband stepped into the picture that I said no to him for six months, hoping that God was writing someone else into my story. I won’t give away all the details here. But in the book, I share in real time, what that whole journey was like as I was going through it, how I got fooled into thinking God was up to something completely different, and how God finally got me to jump on board with HIS story. (Because I had a different plan in mind.) In the novel, Jessie experiences the same dilemma. She gets fooled into thinking God was up to one thing, when it was quite far from the truth. And then she blames God for her error in interpreting things. And so did I. I even had a fight God, just like Jessie does on the beach, for feeling like she was an idiot to believe God was speaking to her or wanting to write her love story. One day I woke up to the fact that I had just walked through the same journey Jessie had, for all her mistakes, and that while some of what I thought God was up to, He truly wasn’t in. But what He was in, was leading me to write a prophetic story for that novel! Then I saw how my then future husband was a major parallel to who Jessie marries in the book and screenplay! I was astounded how blind I was to see it until I was in it. I had to humbly go back to God, apologize, repent, and admit to him that, just like Jessie, I realized my love life could have unfolded sooner if I had just been open to His plan and not so bent on getting my own way. (It could have happened about six months sooner than it did.) I’m so thankful I woke up to what God was doing or I could have really missed out. And I’m not ashamed to admit this publicly, because I feel like a lot of us, when we are impatient for God to move can make mistakes that delay or even thwart His best for us. I hope others can learn from my story.
I will save the love story details of what God was actually up to for the book.
What are some practical steps single women can take to give God the pen, allowing Him to write their love stories?
Pray and ask what God wants you to do. Pray for guidance and direction and then be prepared to obey! If He says sign up for online sites, do. If He says no, don’t. What if your guy isn’t on those sites? Do you really want to wade through all those other people? Then again, what if He is and it’s the only way the connection will take place? This is where having strong prayer mentors and learning to hear God’s voice in your life becomes very critical. Having others who have sensitivity to God’s Spirit to hear on behalf of you becomes very important, too.
DJ Worship More Question:
Answer Cheryl McKay:
DJ Worship More Question:
Answer Cheryl McKay:
I wrote it with single women in mind, who are having trouble holding onto hope. But so far, I’ve heard from men who enjoy it. It’s a journey of faith. And any
one can be encouraged by following a story about someone with a promise from God, then seeing how dynamically God paid that off in reality. Everyone has to deal with surrendering desires. We all have something we may be holding onto, too tightly. And men can certainly relate there, too. My husband also addresses men in his chapter. But most of the book is written from the point of view of a woman wanting to be a bride.
DJ Worship More Question:
What’s the biggest challenge you face as a Christian working in the movie/entertainment industry?
Answer Cheryl McKay:
Often, Hollywood execs want edgy material or content I’m not willing to write. Some see the market for Christian themes. But many don’t. They have a limited view of what they feel like their audience wants but it doesn’t really match the demographic. Like if you’re just considering the U.S., there are a lot more Christians in the U.S. than there are as decision makers in Hollywood. So they assume everyone is just like them and they don’t develop material that is appropriate for church-going audiences because they don’t necessarily think they need to (since often they and none of their friends are believers.) Christians have come a long way in terms of working their way into decision-making roles. But we could certainly use more. It’s also been nice to see so many studios develop their faith friendly departments. But finding financing to produce our films independently has been a challenge. We hope to make Never the Bride soon, and we’re still in the fundraising stage.
DJ Worship More Question:
Answer Cheryl McKay:
Here are some of my sites:
http://www.purplepenworks.com/
http://amazon.com/author/cherylmckay
http://www.imdb.me/cherylmckay
And my twitter is:
On Facebook I have a page under Purple PenWorks that people can like. And Rene Gutteridge & I also have a joint author page for our novelizations.
DJ Worship More:
I wish you continued success in all that you do and my God continue speak through the pen!
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